Pause #13: What Lurks in our Inner Landscape

I taught mindfulness meditation at the Duke University Diet and Fitness Center for eleven years. Over the years as I listened to people discuss their meditation experiences I found how common it was for them to express fears about what might lurk underneath the chatter of the mind. Sometimes people are afraid to do work like Focusing and meditation because they are afraid of what they might find if they look inside – afraid of finding a sense of emptiness or unworthiness hiding out in that inner landscape. Others are afraid they won’t know what to do with what they find inside – that it will overwhelm them or make them uncomfortable in some way.

The magic of focusing is that you learn to be company with, to sit down beside what’s inside instead of going to war with it or drowning in it. When we listen to ourselves with non-judgmental curiosity what one always finds at the bottom of the barrel is precious life-going-forward energy. Once you’ve listened to all the concerns and worries of any specific inner voice then you can begin to listen for what that voice, that part, does want – what it’s passionate about. In the Focusing process you regain energy for your life.

In the Hetaka Tradition that I study, which is an ancient Peruvian spiritual healing tradition, the truth about who we are is that sensation that is created when we feel joyful, passionate, exuberant, happy… the way people often feel when they’ve had a chance to complete a Focusing process.

We’ve been taught that our shadow side is a part of who we are. In the Hetaka Tradition our shadow side is not part of who we are. They believe that we learn from our society at a very young age to create patterned responses (“masks” as the Hetaka’s call them) and we agree to give up a portion of our joy and passion for life in exchange for the services of our mask. And their service to us is to repeat perfectly and over and over automatic responses when the appropriate trigger is present.

To me this is a very fascinating and freeing philosophy. It does leave each individual with a lot of responsibility for the thoughts and emotions we experience throughout the day, but it also points to what power really is – our ability to choose from moment to moment where our attention is. Our most powerful choice would be to live from our joy and passion for being alive. These sensations holds our gifts to the world, our knowingness, our vastness and our ability to communicate with and be fully apart of creation. Focusing helps uncover our true selves—our forward-going-energy.

In November and then again in January I’ll be teaching workshops for experienced Focusers. An experienced Focuser has either completed a Level I workshop or had three private focusing sessions with a Focusing Trainer. Until the workshops, I’m offering 3 sessions for the price of two.

Get ready for the focusing workshops in
November and January:

Buy two sessions - get one free
3 sessions - $120

Offer expires January 1, 2009.

Overeating: Beyond the Myth of Will-Power to a Sense of Freedom and Choice
Saturday, November 1, 10am-5pm

Unfortunately you've possibly been taught and reminded over and over again that if you just had the will-power you would be able to control your eating, smoking, buying…. In interrelationship focusing we take time to listen to, for instance, the part that wants to eat well and also the part that doesn't want to eat well. Come enjoy the support of other focusers to listen deeply and non- judgmentally to our body's wisdom and find your sense of freedom and choice.

Unleashing the Fullness of your Joy to Create Momentum for your Manifestations
Saturday, January 17, 10am-5pm

Do the books and movies on manifestations and attraction excite you and give you hope? And do you sometimes feel discouraged and confused about why your manifestations don’t work? One of the things that block our manifestations is our old outdated blind beliefs – beliefs and fears that are often in our subconscious mind, just below the surface. Another thing that blocks our manifestations is our unwanted repetitive thoughts and behaviors. Because energy follows what we give attention to, part of our manifesting energy follows our blind beliefs and our unwanted patterned responses. Come learn skills that will help you identify blind beliefs and reach a sense of resolve about patterned responses. Experience the sense of wholeness and ease that comes when your joy and passion for living are lined up with the intentions that hold your hopes and dreams.

Pause #12: Action Blocks Continued

This is a continuation from Pause #11.

FEARFUL HEART says to HAVE A LOT , “you don’t even care about the healing of the earth, my spiritual commitments or generations to come. It says money is evil and it will make you a bad person. You just want people to envy you. If you had your way you would be uncontrollable greedy." I let FEARFUL HEART know that I hear its concerns and I invite this part of me to let me know what it’s afraid might happen if HAVE A LOT were allowed to be uncontrollable greedy. "Then HAVE A LOT would have everything and I would have nothing it says. I don’t want to be left with nothing." "Of course you don’t", I say. "Of course."

As I sit with this information I become curious. "FEARFUL HEART, if you didn’t feel the need to spend your time holding HAVE A LOT at bay what would you do with your time?" FEARFUL HEART was quite a moment then said, “I would write down all the things that I value and in life and create a plan on how to be successful using those values.” "Uummm," I say. And my body feels energized by that suggestion. It feels possibility.

And I allow myself to enjoy that feeling of aliveness and possibility.

Then my curiosity makes me wonder about HAVE A LOT and I remember the sensation of speediness when he speaks. And I remember how exhausted and ungrounded I feel to have his speediness around. So I turn to HAVE A LOT and say hello. And I acknowledge the memory of the speediness and the exhaustion that this part of me creates. To me this part is hyper and exhausting but I’m taking time now to notice what it might be like from it’s point of view.

“Empty… alone… not good enough.” It says. I take time to absorb this information. And I check back with this part of my body to see if those words are the best fit or if there is even a better fit. “Thank you for telling me how you feel.” (I think to myself, “ I would of never guessed that that is how it feels.”) And I sense by a slowing down in my body that HAVE A LOT appreciates my company. As I keep this part of me company I begin to invite it to let me know what it would spend its energy doing if it didn’t feel empty…alone…not good enough. "What if you could count on my company and perhaps over time my friendship, then what would you do with your time?" HAVE A LOT says: "I would want to help FEARFUL HEART with those plans."

As I sit with this information I begin to sense that its safe now for my desire to experience success-- It's safe for me to trust myself enough to claim my values and my skills and to build my professional life according to them; for my community to welcome my skills and integrity. And I take a moment to ask my body to show me how it might be to go forward with a business plan with my values right along side me. And I have a feeling of possibility tangibly in my body.

I thank my body for its wisdom and for in intimacy I feel with these parts.

Thank you for spending time with me, FEARFUL HEART AND HAVE A LOT. Hope you'll stay tuned for the next epsiode of Inner Soaps.

Upcoming Workshops for Experienced Focusers

An experienced focuser has completed Level 1 or has had three private sessions with a focusing trainer.

Overeating: Beyond the Myth of Will-Power to a Sense of Freedom and Choice

and

Unleashing the Fullness of your Joy to Create Momentum for Your Manifestations

Overeating: Beyond the Myth of Will-Power to a Sense of Freedom and Choice
Saturday, November 1, 10am-5pm

Unfortunately you've possibly been taught and reminded over and over again that if you just had the will-power you would be able to control your eating, smoking, buying…. In interrelationship focusing we take time to listen to, for instance, the part that wants to eat well and also the part that doesn't want to eat well. Come enjoy the support of other focusers to listen deeply and non- judgmentally to our body's wisdom and find your sense of freedom and choice.

Unleashing the Fullness of your Joy to Create Momentum for your Manifestations
Saturday, January 17, 10am-5pm

Do the books and movies on manifestations and attraction excite you and give you hope? And do you sometimes feel discouraged and confused about why your manifestations don’t work? One of the things that block our manifestations is our old outdated blind beliefs – beliefs and fears that are often in our subconscious mind, just below the surface. Another thing that blocks our manifestations is our unwanted repetitive thoughts and behaviors. Because energy follows what we give attention to, part of our manifesting energy follows our blind beliefs and our unwanted patterned responses. Come learn skills that will help you identify blind beliefs and reach a sense of resolve about patterned responses. Experience the sense of wholeness and ease that comes when your joy and passion for living are lined up with the intentions that hold your hopes and dreams.