Focusing is helpful for action blocks. When someone keeps trying and trying to do something but never get its done – there is an action block present. For instance, if I want to eat well and exercise regularly but I don’t that would be considered an action block. In inner relationship focusing we would express the action block like this. “I’m sensing something in me that wants to eat well and exercise regularly and I’m sensing something in me that doesn’t want to eat well and exercise regularly. And over several sessions (the number of sessions varies from person to person) the focuser would take time to listen to these various parts. The following is a part of a series of sessions where a client keeps wishing he were more successful professionally, he has made many efforts toward these kinds of goals but never reaches the goals. We’ll hear him listen to the part of him that doesn’t want to be successful.
So this client begins his focusing session by taking time to notice his body externally, his feet, the bend in his knee, the chair that he’s sitting in, his arms and hands. He notices the texture of the what his hands are touching. Then he moves his attention more internally, noticing for instance the inside of his mouth, then the inner throat area and on down into the torso sensing for places of comfort and discomfort and for ease and disease and for a sense of life energy running through him. He simply observes all of this and takes a moment to remember that his intent is to bring non-judgmental curiosity to all he encounters in his inner landscape. Feeling connected and in his body he begins to invite memories of times when he’s made efforts in increase his success professionally and the sense of frustration he feels when the success doesn’t come. And he invites his body to let him know how it is about the part of him that doesn’t want to be successful. He then turns his attention away from the memories and events and toward his body, he begins to notice the way he holds these experiences of his life in his body.
This is the normal way that focusing sessions begin – its called the lead-in.
To help sort out the various parts that are often present in a focusing session, I’ll give names to the various parts and have them speak in dialogue and write it from first person point of view.
What I notice when I turn my attention to my body is that point where my throat meets the back of my mouth. It’s almost a hiding-out-kind-of vague feeling – like a little tug on the back of my tongue. I acknowledge it and let it know that I feel it there. As I acknowledge it, the sensation drops down to my chest area, like a small sharpness.
As I settle down to spend time with it I get an image of a hand sticking out saying no and the other hand protecting the heart, covering the heart area. I acknowledge this image and settle down to keep it and my heart company. As I sense for a mood or emotion there I see that it would fit to call this part of me FEARFUL HEART.
FEARFUL HEART says its afraid that I will turn into this selfish person if I’m more successful, that I’ll only care about money, and approval from people. And I’ll be one of those people who hurt other people for self gain. This part of me believes that it’s not nice to have money – all those greedy people with lots of money. I let it know I hear its concerns and I check for a sense of resonance – does this information fit with what I feel in my body. The sharpness in my chest lessens and I know that this is a sign that this information is coming from that part of me.
Then another part chimes in: “No, let me have everything I want – beautiful things, lot of travel, anything that makes me happy.” HAVE A
Is this the begining of a fight? What will be the solution. Turn in next time to Episode 4 of Inner Soaps (see April 8, 2008 posting).